True Story

I came across these forgotten pictures of Phil and I and thought how incredibly romantic we were, hopelessly in love and beautiful, in our own world. I also thought about what my Mother said about relationships being like a bus, as soon as one drops you off, you just have to wait a little while for the next one to pick you up.

These pictures and this video are far too lovely not to share.

I made this video at a very happy time in my life, you can just see how carefree it all was, I have to live for "these moments" because my short life won't allow me to hold my breath, I have no regrets and if anything I am lucky I have had a chance to feel this way. Whether they last or not, they are so worth the bus ride.

A Single Man

I'm a little behind on my movies, today I got a chance to see A Single Man, after hearing nothing but great things. This Tom Ford movie is one of the most beautifully shot movies I have ever seen, the colors, set in the 1960's (No secret, I love) the detail in the wardrobe, hair, the cars the furniture, the music but most of all, the story. A gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous film.

"A few times in my life I've had moments of absolute clarity, when for a few brief seconds the silence drowns out the noise and I can feel rather than think, and things seem so sharp and the world seems so fresh. I can never make these moments last. I cling to them, but like everything, they fade. I have lived my life on these moments. They pull me back to the present, and I realize that everything is exactly the way it was meant to be" -George

Wild Animal

Earth is a wild Animal. The resent earthquake in Haiti and now the one that just hit Chile tonight should be a reminder of that, Earth is pissed, I don't think people realize what is awaiting us, I'm not physic or have a glass ball but guess what? the worst is coming, BIG things are going to happen and this wild animal will have no mercy on us, you want to know why? because there are too many Assholes in the world, Earth is going to start wiping Assholes out, the sad thing is that along with Earth doing this "clean house" of Assholes, it's sadly going to also wipe out good people (it's a wild animal, it doesn't know, it just knows to ATTACK when it feels it's in danger) Earth has been in danger for billions of years and it is now doing what it needs to, we abuse Earth, we laugh in it's face, we treat each other cruelly, we should all be scared, we should all be ashamed, we should all be aware that at anytime Earth can pull the rug right from under you and just like that, POOF, one less ASSHOLE! Your parties and your superficial life of empty relationships with other shallow people, will no longer matter and you will be forced to deal with some REAL shit when earth rocks your world. You are not bigger then the world, the world doesn't owe you shit and it's just a matter of time before this wild animal attacks.

This has been brought to you by the Assholes free world, a non profit organization.

"A world with less Assholes is a happy world"

JaJizz

Check out the little Asshole behind us, he sneezes all over EJ and I. His face is SO funny (doesn't he just look like an Asshole?)

The other Asshole was the Jazz bear who sprayed his silly string jizz on me.

I have had a lot of fun going to these Jazz games with EJ, especially because he gets so into them, he likes to yell "YOU SUCK' to the other team and he BOOOO's really loud, I get a big kick out of it and join in the insults. On our way to the game, EJ said "you look really pretty Mom" and I will tell you what, there is no one that a compliment means more to me then from this little guy, I had to hold back some tears. Over dinner we had the talk about the girls and I advised him that if he wants to take his new girlfriend to the movies, that it would be best to call her Mom and ask her for permission and that if I gave him extra lunch money tomorrow, that he has to use it to buy her a cookie (EJ and his new GF don't even eat lunch together, she sits with her friends and EJ sits with the boys, then he walks her to class) Remember 7th grade? Oh, to be young again.

Good game, floor seats and lots of junk food with my stinker..Success!

Jazz- 102 Bobcats -93

HOLLER!

Good Girl

The Metric

I have always loved these guys, the first song I heard by them was "Dead Disco" and I fell in love, they remind me of a lot of the stuff I was listening to in High School, PJ Harvey and Sonic Youth, they even have a hint of the cardigans. It's good rock and roll with a hot chick singer. They are just a GOOD band!

Check them out HERE

This last album is yummy, from beginning to end, Enjoy!

Oh Hell No

You always fear that this will happen. I'm sure the level of devastation would be much higher if I was attending the Oscars, non the less, there she was, in line to get into the new Las Vegas night club Vanity, at the Hard Rock, there she was, wearing my one-of-a-kind forever 21 designed dud (haha) We locked eyes and slowly realized our twin dresses, she was super cute and a good sport, we shared a good laugh. In the video bellow, I like to play "the bitch was tinier" role, it's all in fun, plus I know how to photoshop...well, Justin does!

Typo

Tats: You still sick?

Me: Yes, my ers are infected

Tats: My Ers! Nelly in the house

Me: My ers hert!

Tats: My ers hert up in herr!

That's My Shit

Do ya see me? Do ya?

Mark Ronson

I just want to lick his British face all over!

C'mere you...

Last Night

It was by far our best year, sold out seats, the audience always dresses to impress and the girls all did such a great job...but it was a weird night, not gonna lie, I don't think there is anything more uncomfortable then doing a strip tease in front of your Mother, my Mom is no angel but still, it made the whole thing a little odd for me, and I have been walking around all day just waiting to get grounded. To make the situation even odder, I lost a pastie during my performance and in the video I took you can see it fall off behind my shadow box and when Danny kicks my screen open, there I am, with one exposed (Janet Jackson moment) titty, Oh god NO! that will be the only one reason I might not post that video (notice how I said might?) Had too much to drink, woke up in another odd situation, my car got bashed into today by an asshole lady...let's just say I'm happy it's Sunday and I love my house and the bubble I create when I'm here with EJ, where everything is peachy and I bake cookies and walk around like Joan Cleaver. Maybe I should reconsider taking on the hussy title, I'm much more ready for the title of secret agent man.

OMFG, I LOVE DEENA

Haahaahaha!!!

The Stripper

An early rehearsal call time and a really bad sore throat, has me home in bed by 10 on a Friday. My homework tonight is to perfect the mannerisms of Ms Hayworth,her moves are half drunk and half uncoordinated, yet it seems to make her routine absolutely perfect, so I thought 'I can do drunk and uncoordinated, yaa haa' She was a true hussy, there are not many true hussies around anymore, I'm going to bring back the hussy..Watch!

When I wake up tomorrow as Gigi De Ville...

8:00- Wake up, stretch, coffee

9:00- Tanning bed

9:30- final prop purchasing

10:00- Rehearsal at Fort Douglas theater

12:00- Lunch-ish

3:00- My solo rehearsal with Danny at the theater

4:30- Hot rollers, fake eyelashes and red lipstick by Ashley Quai

7:15 -Back at theater

8:00- Cocktail hour and nerves kick in, consume liquor

9:00- Everyone takes their seats

9:45- Yours truly will sing and dance and shamelessly drops her dress in front of a live audience.

9:50- STANDING OVATION *BRAVO*ENCORE*ENCORE*

WISH ME LUCK

Aloha

The Roosevelt Hotel (1 of my favorites on my I heart things in L.A list)

Les Deux

Greek dancing with the kitties

Beach time in Santa Monica

I love my friend Naomi so much, My beautiful Hawaiian friend that greets me with an Aloha and a kiss, we have been friends for years and what you see is what you get with this girl, no bullshit with our friendship. We hung out all day and now that she is back living here with her 2 beautiful daughters, I get to see her a lot more (not that I didn't love visiting her out in L.A, taking the kids to Universal Studios and then having adult time, flirting with boys on the dance floor at Les Deux) My dear and beautiful friend just turned 35, mid 30's and loving it. To think that at one point in our fake I.D days, sneaking into the hip hop clubs and scouting for tall basketball players (I will still deny my involvement in this) Naomi and I didn't fancy each other, it's funny to laugh at that now because I couldn't imagine my life without her. The sex talk today had us dying with the giggles, we shared how long we have both gone without sex and she for sure has me beat "Barby, I'm telling you, I have been holding out, I have not even kissed a boy since August and even a hug is sexy at this point, I love it" then I said, "Damn, I'm just happy we live in an age where things that operate with batteries can really make up for a man" Then she challenged me...

Naomi: I challenge you, I CHALLENGE YOU..to go 30 days without kissing a boy, no fondling, no...

Me: No boobies squeezing or ass slapping?

Naomi: NO

Me: Just really sexy hugs?

I may or may not have taken her up on this challenge.

*We consumed a gazillion calories today, I'm suppose to be sick and depressed and loosing a bunch of weight, which leads me to believe that I'm not that sick and actually pretty happy.

You take Feist, who is one of my favorite artist...

You then let Chromeo, who is another one of my favorites, mix them together and then....

YOU DANCE!!!

The Shirts VS The Blouses

This clip is still one of the funniest clips that the Dave Chappelle show ever did, why did he go off the air? he is brilliant. It's a little long but so worth it. My love for Prince and Dave make for a hilarious skit.

Little Fucker

when I woke up this morning, my head was unusually stuck to my pillow, and by stuck, I mean I lifted my head, and the pillow came too. A high amount of stress, a Vegas trip with little sleep, too much alcohol and a cold chill on my sweaty back after a workout today (I still believe my Mom's old Mexican superstitions)...landed me this little fucker. These little fuckers are called little fuckers for a reason, to ruin your plans and make things even more stressful. In 3 days I'm going to be singing in front of a sold out theater and if I lose my voice, I will be kicking garbage cans over and slapping old ladies. I will stay positive but just know this, little fucker, I got my eye on you.

*The only good thing about colds, is that they make you realize how valuable your health is and makes you appreciate that it's nothing worse then just a little fucker that will go fuck with someone else in a week or so.

Guy: I don't get you

Me: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I don't get me either..please pass the Tabasco.

Vegas

Fits

Vegas at 3am, I just wanted a pretzel!!!

Ke$ha

From song I hated, to the song that now gets me out of bed and gets me dancing, AND a perfect song to hit the road to Vegas with, my Vegas antheeeeem!! I wish all of you a wonderful weekend and a sexy Valentines Day. I plan on having great one myself.

Peace, Love and Tequila.

ummmm.....

Boy, was I sad last night, or what? on a lighter note...I saved a bundle by switching to Geico

Speediddledog

I talked a lot about you today, which made me want to see your face as soon as I got home. I had a good cry tonight, in fact, I don't know if I even cried this hard when I found out we lost you. My heart breaks when I think of you, I'm mad at myself for not looking harder for you that year. I still remember our last phone conversation, I still remember the sound of your voice, your hands, your skin, your laugh, I miss you Spencer, I miss you more tonight then I ever have. I just hope that you truly knew how much I adore you, because I know how much you cared for me, I will never forget how loving you were. The dream I had the other night was so real, I got to hug you for a long time, tight, I looked at you and told you I missed you and you gave me the sweetest look and then you stuck your finger in my nose, and you laughed, like you have never done that to me before. I was so lucky to have had you in my life, Thank you for loving me back, you are and will always be in my heart. I kiss the sky!

I'm going to eat a cookie and go to bed.

I love you pookie!

All that Jazz

Last nights games was awesome, mostly because we had third row on the floor, right behind the Lakers, Lamar Odom was practically sweating on me. Besides that, the game was booty, 96 Lakers - 81 Jazz.

BOOTY!

My huur!

I LOVE my new hair color, it's much more drastic version of my previous hair. I love roots, so she keeps my roots really dark and the color starts after a couple inch's of dark (you know, the SJP look) they call it "melting", I call it yummeeeeh. It's no secret I love my extentions and will take them with me to the grave, along with my secrets. A day at the salon is what I look forward to because Robyn (my hair gal/counselor) makes me laugh so hard, we were dumb and dumber today.

Me: the time 3:33, always look at the clock at that time, I even wake up at 3:33 in the morning

RJ: good thing its not 666

Me: well there's not a 6:66 on the clock so...

RJ: oh ya, I meant 6:60

Me: well there is not that either...

(Then Robyn asks the 2 year old at the salon)

RJ: what do you want to be when you grow up?

Little Girl: Just married

Me: Don't put your eggs in one basket, have a plan B

RJ: The morning after pill

Daaaah Word?

I figure the concept of eternity is beyond us, I have always said that the human brain can not and will not let you wrap your brain around that word. I have realized that for most of eternity I will be dead and for the rest of the little (and by little I mean a tiny minuscule wee miniature dinky mini second) of the time, I will be spending it on this earth, the reality is, I'm going to spend a lot more time dead then alive, not trying to be a buzz kill but if you really thought about things like that, would you waist anymore time sweating the small stuff? crying over spilled milk? or giving a fuck? I think not, so lets all just have fun, laugh at the pain, tickle the haters, give noogies to insignificant problems and things out of our control, because this ride is fast and short and I don't even like milk.

Fuck It!

Sunday

I don't watch football so I spent the day drinking Mimosas and shopping for hours. I realistically should of had rich scratched off too, but I told Tats that having 2 on my T-shirt would be bad for my ego, so I'm RICH, so fucking rich, bitches, balls deep in the hunskies! An old single rich broad? Who wants to know?

*I was told I look like Susan Hoffs not one time but TWO times over the weekend. Sweet!

Friend: why did you hire a maid? you love cleaning, it's what you Mexicans do.

Me: I know, I actually hate cleaning lately, I need someone to do my walls and 3 bathrooms, why do I have 3 bathrooms? Thats stoooopid.

Friend: Your place is waaaaay to big for you and EJ, when does Maria start?

Me: She's a white lady, dumbass... Muaaahaahaaa!!!

Dear Summer

We miss you

2 hour limit

Last night this group here, had an overdue reunion and a night of dancing at the W... also, this group here, (all freshly single) are all going to spend Valentines Day weekend in Vegas, over dinner we decided fuck that we don't have Valentines and lets take a road trip to Vegas, so why all you love birds are having romantic dinners, sweet loving moments over deep eye contact and kisses, while you both stick little heart shaped candies into each others mug pieces, with little messages like "I love your farts" and "will you be my anal tonight?" followed by bubble baths and ending with a hot steamy rump, YUCK, who the hell wants that? (I secretly do, shhhhhh) WE will be loving on Vegas. This is going to be fun for 2 reasons...
1. My friends are fun
2. It's Vegas, duuuuuuh!!!

I set myself up, lets see how long the "2 hour limit" nickname last

Le Plan

*Picture taken of meh: by Ashley Quai

I'm going to spend my 40's in Paris, when my job as a Mother (which, I think that job never sees a final day) is due, when the young lad turns 18 and he then decides on college, to move out, be on his own and experience the world as an independent young, smart, open minded, handsome Man (Because that is what the last 12 years and the next 6 years have been about accomplishing) Mommy is moving to France, so along with raising this young man, I will add french classes to the next 6 years, so when I arrive in Paris in the year 2016, I will be able to ask for my baguette extra crispy, my cafe creme on the light side and point me to nearest rich french homme. I will be a quadragenarian, with finger crossed that I will look like a 30 something...

To be continued....

Sean 'Diddy' Combs, Sean 'Puffy' Combs, Sean Combs, Puff Daddy, P Diddy, Sean John, Puffy, What?

I'm still thinking it's just a matter of time before Diddy wants to buy this picture I took of him. I'm picking out my Aston Martin as we speak

"PhD. playa haters degree"

Maneuver

Friend: I pulled a Barby maneuver tonight

Me: OH OH, my maneuvers are never good news

Monday Monday

Monday, was one of the funnest days I have had in a while, after my week off, I was given Monday off as well, I was left with a completely free day from work and Mommy duty (the stinker stayed at Dads to have boy time over the Jazz game) I made plans to have lunch with my L.A homies (The Filmpunks) I have been friends with these guys for years and have been involved in some projects and fashion shows. I had a pretty impressive social life in L.A a couple of years ago, I spent A LOT of time there, I miss these guys and with good reason, like the fact that every time I hang with them we have so much fun, what I thought was just a lunch date and chit chat, turned into a day of ice skating, hot chocolate with rum, a tour of the Mormon temple (mind you, we were drinking) an amazing 2 hour sushi dinner and a bottle of wine snuck into the late movie. All done while millions of "I hate Mondays" were being mumbled world wide.

We found Jesus.

We determined we are the worst group of ice skater in the world

(and the show off in the back ground, Betch!)

Barracuda

Jessica and Rocknrollbarby

Sundance has come to a close, one good week was enough for me, between that, Vegas, a sleep over with 12 year olds over the weekend, basketball games, Voodoo Darling rehearsals, I'm beat, and this week shows no signs of having mercy one me...it's nice to have evidence that I have a teency-weency, itty-bitty, little bit of fun (all the time)

Voodoo Darlings Shenanigans

*Sunday rehearsals are always a little like this.