Barby, in High-definition

I have always said I need a reality TV show for the things that happen to me, that dream almost came true a couple of years ago when I auditioned for the Bachelor, I was scouted by one of the casting directors by my MySpace (so don't hate on the MySpace, it might be a thing of the past but it did some interesting things for me) 3 days of intense interviews, where I was locked up in a hotel in Hollywood, NO phone calls, internet or contact with any of the other potential love seekers, they wanted to know everything, they drilled me then took my blood to see if I could possibly infect the Bachelor with the clap,crabs or HIV (do Crabs even still exist? No one has bush anymore) they wanted to know your deepest darkest secrets, then stuck a camera in my face to (I assume) see what 10 pounds looked like.
A month later they called me and said "you made the show, are you excited?" At the moment I thought 'wow, this is so cool' and after a day, I decided to turn down the show, after realizing that I didn't want to be known as "THAT girl" that girl, that got kicked off the show for getting too drunk and insulting his mother then calling him a Jew, not to mention the producer called me and said that all those "secrets" might be used to boost up ratings (can u say, fuck off? I know I shouldn't have told them about that night in Portland) so, my decision is one that I will always wonder about but know in my heart it was the best one for myself and my family, 15 minutes of fame just didn't sound that glamorous to me, I'm looking for AT LEAST 30 minutes, plus I want my OWN show. Word? What I did manage to do was dance shamelessly on the streets of Melrose Ave on the Jay Leno show (youtube in the works)
I still talk to Shanny, who is the lovely casting director who found me, who still every time I talk to her, says "Barby, you would of been so funny on the show, we don't get pretty funny chicks, you were my star" did I mention I love Shanny? I just ask her to keep me in mind for future roles with Russell Brand in them.

Oh, and in case you were wondering the Bachelor was Brad, who was EXTREMELY easy on the eyes but was a little bit of a bore, he was a "suit" nuff said...