1. Put on your highest heels- or take those suckers off - Yes, high heels make you bipolar.
2. Get off your weird fad diet immediately. It's wrecking your day...and your metabolism -In other words anorexia is really the only true way of loosing weight.
3. Catnap, preferably with a cat (or a dog)- Umm, highly allergic to fur, reasons I don't own a cat, dog or an Italian.
4. Rub your own feet. Who needs a whipped boyfriend? - I do.
5. Throw caution to the wind and actually smile at a stranger - If you smile at a male stranger you're asking for A. him asking for your number or B. Rape.
6. Have an orgasm, maybe two (it's how he'd handle it, right?) - Two? underachievers!
7. Go into closet. Shut the door. Scream. Feel a little silly. Carry on.- Go into street. Scream. Feel a little crazy and ok about it. Carry on.
8. Just give up and put your hair in a ponytail. - One word -Weave.
9. Kiss someone. Bonus points if they're over 83 or under three - Ewwww!
10. Stop waiting for _____ to make you happy. You're in charge - Make ___ happy, Duh!
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