I woke this morning thinking about Spencer. I laid in bed and giggled remembering his laugh. The realization that he is gone still manages to hit me in the stomach like a high-speed train. I also laid in bed and cried this morning.
The story that made me giggle this morning, was remembering all the times that Spencer would be waiting for me at the JFK airport. There was never picking me up at the curb. Spencer would be waiting for me at baggage claim, excited, and he would be there with a cup of coffee and a huge loving huge waiting for me. But, there was one time, when he forgot to set his alarm, and I had to wait 40 minutes and I was pissed. And he still parked his car and came inside, with my coffee in his hand and immensely apologizing and I was such a brat. How could I have been mad after all that he had done for me? How dare be such a little bitch. He was so good to me.
The part that was funny, was that he was wearing a SpongeBob Square Pants T-Shirt, and here I was trying to be mad at him and every time I would look at him I would have to turn away and hold back from laughing. He later admitted that he knew he could get out of the doghouse if he showed up in that shirt. He was right. He effortlessly made me genuinely laugh.
My pouting quickly turned to giggles as soon as we resumed back to our normal activities of hitting our favorite diner and catching up, seeing how our relationship was long distance. Spencer was nothing but good to me. We had our silly fights that all relationships have, but I can honestly say that Spencer was happy if I was happy. He was such a caretaker. He took really good care of me. He was truly good to me. I know he loved me. I will always love him.
Spencer has been gone for 3 years, and I still sometimes go to pick up my phone to text him something silly that happened. I don't think I will ever get over the fact that I won't see him again. But I still get overwhelmed with happiness thinking how lucky I was to have known him, and how he still manages to make me giggle when I wake up.
I miss him.