Friday, October 8, 2010


This Morning I skipped over to get a Massage at at the Spa. Now, I'm not one those girls that gets massages, unless I'm on Vacation or when the gift certificate from Christmas is about to expire. I'm also a big old weirdo when it comes to people touching me (ok, strangers). I'm a bit of a control freak. If it's not someone  I know or if it's not being used as a form of forplay, it kinda weirds me out. I get anxiety. I'm convinced I'm light headed. What she just did to my shoulders is going to make me pass the f*** out. Yeah, I real weirdo. I also have a bad habit of laying on that table and unloading my chaos on this poor Masseuse. Something about laying down makes me want to do that, I guess.

The times that I have had messages in Las Vegas, I have gotten brave and asked for a Male Masseuse. You know, thinking that a tall dark and handsome Italian man is going to put his hands all over me. I'm sitting in the lobby at the Belagio spa waiting, only to have the short and balding George Costanza look-a-like escort me to the massage bed. Ironically, I ask for Honce now every time I go back because I find him so hilarious.

Today I decided to "'let go". To shut my mouth for once and just enjoy it. The fact that she didn't speak good English helped. There was no way I could vent to her about bad bedroom manners without her looking at me and asking "what you mean, not let you finish?" In result it was the best massage I have ever had.

I learned that my calves are super tight. Which I blame the dancing, the high heels and standing on my tippy toes to kiss tall boys. I learned that my left shoulder is a mess. I blame my heavy ass purse, bowling , but reassured her that my left pimp hand was strong. She didn't laugh, but I did. I passed on her asking me to explain. These are times I miss the good old Amercian humor.

She was lovely. I kept thanking her and she kept saying "My pleasure Miss Garcia". No, the pleasure was ALL mine, Sister! I can get use to having these little maintenance for the body sessions more often. Strangers, you are now welcome to touch me....ish!

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