Saturday, October 2, 2010
I can't help but get emotional when I write about this child of mine. The picture on top melts me. I remember him so much at that age, That sweet little face. His little voice. How he felt in my arms when I would hold him. I would break my back trying to lift this kid these days. When he posted this picture of himself on his Facebook, I had that moment, when I realized he's just like me, and that this was no longer the little boy I could lift up. I was looking at a picture of a full grown boy. My Teenage Son. It hit me pretty hard. For the first time I felt like the time just flew. 13 years passed so quickly. Where did it go? I want that tiny thing back.
I went from being the Mommy that he would want to curl up to. The Mommy that would get so much love when I would drop him off at school. To the Mom that now gets high fives when I drop him off, and is just so uncool. I am officially the coolest uncool Mom ever. Being a parent has to be the hardest job in the world. It's the only thing that I'm very hard on myself about. The should of, would of, could of speeches I reside in my head about my parenting and just being flat out scared that you"ll mess up. And hope that you'll do a good enough job to keep this little dude on the right track. To be a Man of character. A gentleman. A good person. So far all those things are just who he is. With all these things also comes an amount of love that simply can't be described or explained in words.
I will probably always scramble his eggs. I will always do his laundry. I will probably always push a vegetable in front of his face. Check to see if he's brushed his teeth. Check on him in the middle of the night. Ask him about the girl he's talking to. I will continue to annoy him for THE..REST..OF..HIS..LIFE! And worry for THE..REST..OF..MY..LIFE! And keep my fingers crossed that someday he will give me the tittle of coolest cool Mom ever. Until then, eat your broccoli and go to bed.