A phone conversation with one of my very good guy friends in LA got me thinking today. Our conversation was the usual "How are you?", "How's work?". "How's the love life?". I answered as followed- I'm well. Not as good as it used to be. My love life is dead, like James Brown. He then said to me (and I quote) "Why don't you just find some rich guy who will take care of you?" Honestly, I don't even remember what I said to get out of that question, but I've been thinking this all day #1. What happened to why don't you find some great guy who will love you? And #2. Do people really think I'm a gold digger?!?!?
I will admit that I've had lovers in the past that have spoiled me. I've traveled the world. I've spent a lot of time in New York with 2 separate Boyfriends (who obviously were flying me out). FG took me to Paris after only dating a very short while. I have more designer bags than I should admit to. Sure, I have been lucky to have had very generous men, who took great care of me. Who I have genuinely liked. And they have all been good looking successful guys, under the age of 37.
What's wrong with that?
Now, let me tell you a little story. I have also been in relationships with men who did NOT spoil me to those degrees. In fact, the only Boyfriend I have ever shared a home with yeeears ago, didn't necessarily pull his weight. Sadly, ended up being that girl that took care of a man (and his 2 kids). I made more money than him, and I was doing the spoiling. I was the one taking us on trips. All this in the name of love. I loved him. I did get sick of that life style real quick. In result, it took its toll on our relationship. He ended up moving out of the place that I still live in till this day. I realized I deserved better, and I don't think there's anything wrong with me wanting more for Ej and I.
What's not wrong with that?
The most recent guy I briefly dated also made a comment to me one night while we were driving home after a night out. He said "People have mentioned that you will only want to date me if I take you on trips and spend money on you." That comment really irked me, seeing how I was in the car with him, and well on our way to my bed to have a good ol' rumping session. And I clearly liked HIM. I didn't care if he had $5 dollars or $5 million.
I still haven't figured out what went wrong with that.
As woman now these days, we are all super independent, but we do feel that having a guy buy us dinner or offer to take us places is nice, right? I struggle with the awkwardness of the bill coming to the table. I offer to pitch in. If he doesn't allow me to give him money, I'm still always thankful. Honestly, I find money to be awkward. It makes me feel uncomfortable, and I'm not sure I will ever be good at being casual about it. If we offer to pay the guy gets offended, and if we don't offer then we're ungrateful ,and the moment they think we "expect" it, they always throw the money thing in our face. It's a fine line between love and money plastic.
There's something wrong with that.
I couldn't ever be with a man JUST because he was loaded. Money but no passion or love? That sounds miserable to me. If I fell in love with a man who happened to have some mula, then that's just a bonus. Who wouldn't want to travel the world with a man you're passionate about and love? That sounds blissful to me.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Plus, if someone tries to set me up with a guy, my questions always go as followed.
1. Is he funny?
2. Does he like (good) music?
3. Does he have a big penis?
4. Does he have a Job?
AND in defense of my Gold Diggin' Ladies out there. You wanting a man for his money, is no different than a man wanting a woman for her looks.
Tit for Tat, Guys!