Cult Logic

All my life I've been the slave of consequence

Wondering how this life could be so intricate

I wanna rewrite my heart and let the future in

I wanna open it up and let somebody in

Can you free me from the logic that I knew

I believe it even if it is not true

Am I falling asleep on my feet again?

I call out, is anybody listening

And it's like I'm diving into emptiness

But at least there's something beating in my chest

Can you free me from the logic that I knew

I believe it even if it is not true.

*Miike Snow- Cult Logic

Charles Bukowski And I.

I've been personally intrigued by Charles and his writing in the past 6 months. A writer that was known for his cynic point of views. A love for alcohol, cigarettes and sex.

A lot of his writing makes sense to me. It's almost as if this man had experienced a lot of disappointment, heartache and grief, that at some point in his writing, he said, FUCK OFF!!!! Life is THIS and it's OK!

Some may say his writing was depressing and hopeless. Some may say this is just a man that lived life by his own rules and realized that all humans are not meant for a perfect life (as much as we all crave and strive for it). Some may say that being realistic about not having that, is OK!!

He took his experiences of LIFE. and took an old typewriter and shared them with all of us. Just to make us, who believe our own nature, believe and know that's it's OK.

Giving hope to the depression, and at times depressing the hope.

LIFE!!!

"Don't wait for the good woman. She doesn't exist"

"There is nothing as boring as the truth"


"Knowledge without follow-through is worse than no knowledge at all. because if you're guessing and it doesn't work out you can just say, shit, the gods are against me. but if you know and don't do, you've got attics and dark halls in your mind to walk up and down in and wonder about. this ain't healthy, leads to unpleasant evenings, too much to drink and the shredding machine."


"Sex can sometimes become the most horrible of tasks"


"Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”


“You have to die a few times before you can really live.”


"That’s the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.”


“For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can’t readily accept the God formula, the big answers don’t remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command nor faith a dictum. I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.”

As I read more of his writings tonight, sitting and pondering why I have stopped writing, and why at this point in my life things aren't perfect, and they are never going to be,  I realized that......

A true writer doesn't fall far from the Bukowski tree.

Let the writing begin again, in this non-perfect insistence. 
And it's OK!

Greatness.

My Thought Last Night

For every glimmer of hope, there's a spotlight of reality.

Soul Searching

Soulmate- A soulmate (or soul mate) is believed by some to be the person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity, similarity, love, sex, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, or compatibility.

Some of us, who are driven by the natural instinct to have love in our lives, might spend some time as single people wishing, and hoping, and dreaming of the right person to save us from the pity single party for one. Someone to fill our free time with hugs and kisses and slaps on the asses.  When we do finally (and rarely) find someone to occupy the fairy tale magic hour, we somehow tend to spend that time analyzing and picking apart the reasons why we are going to end up back to square one.

Humans are dumb dumbs like that.

I mean, come on, no one is perfect. Sadly, we are part of an era that disposes of connections the moment the glass slipper is even a tad too tight, or the castle isn't big enough, or the horse wasn't as white as you pictured him galloping on. Instead of realizing that with a little work that slipper could fit like a glove (if you laid off the salt). And that maybe, you can build the castle (together). And that white horses are overrated (and expensive).  No, instead we deiced to toss the whole thing out the window, and dismiss it as "It just wasn't the right fit".

Maybe there's no perfect fit?

Unless you're these bad boys...

And at that point the metaphors stop, and now I'm just speaking of a good pair of damn shoes. And even then, most of us gals end up dreaming and wishing about these bad boys, too.

We are realistic that no one is perfect. Life is not perfect. Situations are not perfect. Timing, even at times is not perfect. And maybe some of us deal with the imperfections, of always doubting that something can just be, imperfectly perfect. 

Lets lay off the salt, Pudgy foot!

*Can I just add how great it feels to be writing again?  It's good to be back.

The three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for. - Joseph Addison

Teron Beal

Some of my downtime in my life is spent on my laptop discovering music. I click a lot. Some music I find, I like, some, I don't like, and some I love. Once in a while I find an artist that really strikes me as a true talent. I don't think a good voice is hard to find these day, hell, there is a new show on TV every week showcasing the voice of the guy that works at your local Subway. There is so much talent out there. It's unreal.

Some of these great voices have also been behind some of the artist we listen to now. Teron, for example. Before I even did any research on Teron, the first thing that popped in my head was Prince. He reminisced the sound of my beloved Purple Rain days. Sexy R&B voice with a rock guitar riff. I instantly fell in love.  Even if Teron is not new to the music industry, I mean he has written songs for Michael Jackson, Jennifer Lopez, Pink, Kelly Rowland, Mýa, Chrisette Michele, Robyn, Jaheim and others. Yeah, not bad for a guy that most people have never heard of. Right?

Then one day, a writer comes out of the room full of paper, pencils and the smell of spilled words, and lets his voice be heard. And sometimes you hear a sound that just wouldn't sound as true if it wasn't delivered by the person who poured their heart felt words into it. In other words, I enjoy his music.

Teron Beal 

Something To Put Your Finger On

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them. You'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt.

Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. Live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you, and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someones hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset, is a second of happiness you can never get back.

And never apologize for who you are. Unless you're the middle finger.

Charles Bukowski

Find what you love and let it kill you.

April Fool

Everything that's suppose to happen, will. It all has a reason, they say. As this spring has brought the lovely colors that I always await with anticipation and joy, it has also brought a sadness and a shade of grey. I will forever wear the spring flowers on my mind, as a memory, and there will always be a piece of me that drifted away on that April morning. I've cried from the pit of my soul.  I've fallen on the floor with grief. And I don't think I will ever fully understand the reason behind this. Whether we know that some of the decisions we make are for the best, it doesn't make them any easier.

We have to believe that everything happens for a reason, or else we would never forgive. One thing is for sure, April may come and go, but I will never forget.  

Delta Spirit

I had the pleasure of seeing Delta Spirit live tonight. Finally, to say the least. I've been a big fan of this band for years. Tonight, I got to see this for myself.

It was such a great show. As I stood around, indulging the last half hour of the show,  I looked around me and watched the room being hypnotized by the music. People just being in the moment. For the first time, in the middle of this bands magic,while the song "Money Saved" was being belt out,  I had that thought to myself.."Damn, I'm going to miss being young." Holding my beer, in my short flowered dress, without a care in the world.

The moments you never forget. 

An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet,

 regardless of time, place, or circumstance. 

The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break.

God Bless The 70's

As she walks in the room,

Scented and tall,

Hesitating once more.

And as I take on myself,

And the bitterness I felt,

Realise that love lost, while

White horses,

They will take me away,

And the tenderness I feel,

Will send the dark underneath,

Will I follow?

Through the glory of life,

I'm scattered on the floor,

Disappointed and sore.

And in my thoughts I have bled,

For the riddles I've been fed,

Another lie moves over, while

White horses,

They will take me away,

And the tenderness I feel,

Will send the dark underneath,

Will I follow?

I'm Ready