A Proper little Bytch

Sit up straight, pinky out, pucker lips.

One clump or two? Today Ashley P (not to be mistaken for Ashley Q) put together our first annual kick off to spring tea time with the girls at the Grand America. It just ended up being Ashley and I, Tiff showed up later because the rest of the 5 girls partied too hard last night and couldn't get up for this classy event. Tiff who didn't want to be photographed because she was in jeans and Ashley and I agreed that it was NOT acceptable afternoon tea attire. Tea turned into endless glasses of Champagne and before you know it, you have 3 girls in dresses and pearls (one in jeans) talking about sex and everything in between, including how many guys in the past we all have in common, oh yes, the perks of living in Small Lake. Little sandwiches with the crust cut off, little crackers with caviar, little desserts and big giggles about when It's okay to pass gas in front of a lover (I say whenever you need to, girls)

We live in a town that doesn't entertain us, so we take it upon ourselves to entertain the town. A marvelous day.

Love

Ashley and Reed. One of my BF has found love and they shall be wed in a enchanting ceremony HERE in May. I can't express how happy I am for them, they are truly so perfect for one another. They balance each other out. She is the performer and he stands back and admires her marvelous personality, along the side of all of us who are also mesmerized by her.

Ashley has always been there for me, the times I need to be talked off a ledge, to the times I need a voice of reason, to the times I just need some hardcore honesty, a laugh, a travel partner and a friend who will always jump on beds with me and dances her pretty little ass off like no other. Times when she will just send me a unexpected text message in the morning to tell me what a fabulous beautiful person I am, she always checks on me, and has pretty much gotten me through 4 breakups (haahaa oh!!) I truly love her. I don't know if I have ever told her how I will be forever thankful for her love and friendship. I'm honored to be one of her Bridesmaids. I'm going to miss her dearly when they move to Virginia *sniff* I have a feeling someday we will be playing bingo and maybe taking up some golf together in our Golden Years. Two sassy old broads. POW! (As Ashley would say)

I love you Ashley. Congratulations to you, Reed and Z. Cheers to a beautiful life together, full of laughs and love and lots of invites to have me come stay with you in your gorgeous new house ;)

Coffee Talk

Last Friday I went out with 2 of my favorite girls on the planet, Ashley and Lisa, I have known these 2 girls for over 10 years, we get together as often as we can seeing how we are all Moms and work and do it all. This was the first night I put on makeup and attempted to see the world again after my long, painful and dreadful week. We decided to go for tacos and beers at this little Mexican joint by my house, after our dinner and 63 "oh my god this food is so good" comments, we were trying to figure out where we could go for a martini , after realizing that we didn't want to drink, we pranced on over to Starbucks for some lattes and girl talk. We talked about our pregnancies, the fun stories of breast feeding, our dreams of maybe having more babies, our love life's (and by that I mean sex) our shoes and 2012, of course!

Some of my most gorgeous friends are all Mothers, I love how we still manage to have some glamour in our life's, I often think a lot of woman lose that when they become mothers, Ashley and Lisa are beautiful, independent, smart, funny, glamorous Woman, that just happen to be super duper Moms. All of us with different stories. Lisa has a family and a home with Doug, Ashley just got engaged a couple of weeks ago to a fantastic fella...and I am.....well ,I am just a Gypsy.

In the end we learned that breast feeding is super important but extremely uncomfortable and messy, I had the biggest baby out of the 3 of us, Elijah weighing in at 8 pounds 12 ounces and that there is a shoe sale at Nordstroms this weekend!

Ash, Lisa and Barby

*oh, don't mind me, I always sit like that

ABBA

Ashley and myself in Vegas??? I say this giggling because, Ashley, hands down is one of my funnest friends, so I highly doubt that there will be a non eventful moment. We have been to Paris together, have had numerous Vegas trips already under our belts and have terrorised L.A a couple of times. This video of us in L.A, (appropriately fashioned in god awful Ed Hardy hats) is just an example of the complete goofiness that is ABBA (Ashley Barby, Babs Ash) Let's just say this isn't our first rodeo!

Popular

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ASHLEY!!!

This is Ashley. One of the closet people in my life and Best friend. If I was to hold my hand up and count how many real true friends I have, that I trust with anything and everything, Ashley would be on one of those fingers. I could use one hand to name those people.

She's always there for me. My panic button. My voice of reason. I could call her at anytime and she would be there for me, without a doubt! We jump on beds. We have sipped Cafe Cremes in Paris. We have dances our asses off. We laughed until we peed. Now that she lives in Virginia, even though I miss her, and she is so far away, she is still very close to me.

She is a beautiful person inside and out. An amazing Mommy. She's extremely funny. A fashionista. A rocking wife. And last but not least, she's an amazing friend. She's my 5 star friend (as I like to call her). I love her very much!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SISTA!

Girlified

Mandi, Ashley, Jamie Lynn, Me, Kate

I knew the weekend was going to be fun, but I never imagined the fun that we did have was awaiting us. Prior to the trip these girls didn't know each other (with the exception of Mandi and Ashley, who I have known for a long time). I wasn't too nervous about bringing these girls together, cuz I just had that feeling that everyone would have a great time. Everyone got along marvelously and we had such a great weekend in George Town. There was no cat fights, just a lot of pillow fights. I already miss these Tramps.

The Stripper

An early rehearsal call time and a really bad sore throat, has me home in bed by 10 on a Friday. My homework tonight is to perfect the mannerisms of Ms Hayworth,her moves are half drunk and half uncoordinated, yet it seems to make her routine absolutely perfect, so I thought 'I can do drunk and uncoordinated, yaa haa' She was a true hussy, there are not many true hussies around anymore, I'm going to bring back the hussy..Watch!

When I wake up tomorrow as Gigi De Ville...

8:00- Wake up, stretch, coffee

9:00- Tanning bed

9:30- final prop purchasing

10:00- Rehearsal at Fort Douglas theater

12:00- Lunch-ish

3:00- My solo rehearsal with Danny at the theater

4:30- Hot rollers, fake eyelashes and red lipstick by Ashley Quai

7:15 -Back at theater

8:00- Cocktail hour and nerves kick in, consume liquor

9:00- Everyone takes their seats

9:45- Yours truly will sing and dance and shamelessly drops her dress in front of a live audience.

9:50- STANDING OVATION *BRAVO*ENCORE*ENCORE*

WISH ME LUCK

NYC Recap.

Ok, so I was in New York City this weekend for my Birthday/Get me out of Utah - Trip.

I spent the weekend with my BFF (Ashley) and my Ex-boyfriends- Ex- Girlfriend (Kate) who happens to be one of my favorite people and one of my best lady friends. 

(Click HERE to get the whole story and stuff.)

And then later, looking back on the picture of us..

 Kate pointed out her boner. 

Which, was clearly above average. 

We shopped.

And watched a man make inappropriate shaped balloons things.

Ate some of my favorite NYC food.

Saw some pretty things.

Heard some pretty things.

Caused some pretty hilarious things...

I ran into the guy I met the night before examining this poor helpless lads throat. Now, I didn't do this because I liked him, I did it because I found him to be quite judgy and a huge pompous ass. And let's face it, I've been dealing with my own pompous ass judgy guy in my own personal life, so this one just got the built up fire. So, after he saw me and didn't politely say hello, instead started to whisper to the table about me, like I couldn't hear..I looked at my gals my pals and said "Watch this"...

I walked over, straight faced and all (ACTION) and I said [His name] and with a very angry look on my face, asked him why he didn't call after the night we shared last night, after he said it was special, and how could he be such a liar? The tables face looked like I just whipped out a penis and slapped everyone of them in the face with it. I walked back to the table where I finally broke character and giggled. I did how ever notice that the girl he was with looked mortified, so being the cool chick that I think I can be (at times) I walked back over there again and explained that I was just playing a joke on the little asshole who was so so judgy.

THEN...

He jumps in and says "So, we didn't have sex last night?" and I said "No, of course not" then he said "Now YOU'RE the liar."....Then I looked like I got slapped in the face with the penis. This pompous ASS one upped me and turned the tables on MY own sick joke.

 Bravo, pompous Ass! 

BRAVO!!!

I just made sure to yell "THIS AIN'T YO BABY [His name], THIS AIN'T YO BABY." when they were leaving the bar.

In other words, it was was fun and eventful weekend. 

Back home to reality.

Where I have to pick more fight in order to keep the interesting things on this blog.

WHO WANTS SOME OF THIS???

The Skinny

Me: I have gained 5 pounds since I've been dating FG.

Ashley: This is the happiest I have ever seen you. You're glowing, love.

Me: Fuck happiness. I want skinny.

The Sleepover Of The Year!

Ashley is getting Married and we are finding any excuse to throw parties in celebration, Last night we had the a grand sleepover with the crew, Ty and Brandon were the ONLY 2 boys invited, cause they know about shoes and they are the icing on our crew cake! We ate pizza, dipped chips, drank champagne, giggled, danced and we did it all in our P.J's, it turned out to be on the funnest nights this winter...so far! In the morning (with my massive hangover) we woke up with all of us on the living room floor loving the fact that ALL of us ladies are Mommies, who have sleepovers, I LOVE my friends.
On that note Karla in her Sponge Bob onesie P.J's wins.

I take Jesus with me to sleepovers.

The BFF

"Get into a relationship again, be miserable. I never hear from you anymore"- Ashley 

Laverne and Shirley Moments

Vegas recap, Spa day today (where I got a male masseuse, what?) his name was "winks" and we had a heart to heart while he rubbed my feet, among other things. Ashley and I had great luck at the black jack table so we celebrated by using our hundred dollar chips as cool cucumbers, cuz nothing says relaxation like money. Last night was heavy, reeeeal heavy, we pretty much crawled to our early morning spa appointment, we ate well and got treated like the princesses we are, what else can I say? It was a good little trip, that was hugely needed.

I DO!

Today, I had the pleasure of shooting pictures of Ashley and Reed, that will be displayed at their Wedding ceremony. I can't think of anything I rather be doing then what I did today. This is just as sneak peek because obviously I can't display her dress, and I still have to edit film and all that jazz. It feels good to have a camera back in my hands.

Happy Days!

*I wore absolutely no make up today and it landed on my Facebook profile pic (proving that my face can go naked, too)

Around The Way Girl

Had a pretty bad ass music meeting with Allison, we have that feeling about each other (like when you meet a guy you like a lot and you just KNOW he likes you too..kinda like that) Allison and I are going to make some beautiful music together. I got fitted for my Bridesmaid dress for Ashley and Reed's wedding. Never been a Bridesmaid, so I just need a couple more times to go before I can say "Always a Bridesmaid, never a Bride", cause as of now, I can't say I have been either.

Got 2 moles removed today. One really had to go and the other, I will miss dearly. It has been a part of my chest forever, EJ use to smack it when he was little and scream "BUG". More proof that I easily get attached to things, I can't even get rid of T-shirts I have had for 10 years because I have some memory about it and giving it away would hurt it's feelings. In other words, you can imagine how much shit I have.

Mums the word! Have a great weekend, Possums.

New FALL Editions.

The Steve Madden Boot.
The Steve Madden pink platform.
The Steve Madden Green pump.

Which are ALL still in the box...
Waiting!
For something exciting.

The black leather jacket from Bebe.

I'm not a huge Bebe shopper, but I have to say that lately 

they have really got some great jacket.

One thing that Bebe does perfect is the cut in their duds. 

(How beautiful is my BFF Ashley)

The Belt. Vintage. Adore.

It's been one of my favorite pieces EVER!

I'm still in denial that I won't be able to walk around in a tube top anymore.

Denial is something I'm not new at.

The Chanel Maxi

That is actually my newest addition as it met my loving arms today

as a gift from a very nice friend who delivered it himself today and made my day.

THANK YOU FOR THE BIRTHDAY SURPRISE!!!!!

And the random fur (Faux, Duh) piece that I can't wait to throw 

over anything and everything. 

AND..

I save the best for last...

My new yellow beanie!

And EJ makes his first fashion debut of his own,

 in his new awesome leather jacket. 

Right on, EJ!!

Now, if I can find some reasons to wear these fabulous fall pieces.

Because I seem to be living in my flat boats I got at target the other day. 

*Now, I know I've been slacking with the blogging. I may only be blogging about my boring materialistically driven things because I'm having a hard time expressing myself on here (again). I went on a date not too long ago with a very nice guy, who is hilarious (Bonus) and he asked me over dinner if I sometimes have a hard time writing and if at times I don't feel like sharing things that are going on in my life. He really nailed how I have been feeling lately. And I'm so unsure about my feelings on a day to day bases lately that I shy away from posting anything that I'm uneasy about. There's still things from the last 6 months that I haven't written about. I'm not sure if I ever will share them. I sound like such a broken record lately on here. I'm sure you all understand. We are only human, right? 

I will say that my time with Elijah lately has been some of my most favorite times. My radio show is going great. I have some other projects that are allowing me to be involved in fashion AND I'm getting paid to put my input in about fashion. Dream job. I really do have amazing friends. I'm ok. I'm only human, right?

So, back to my boring materialistically driven things...

Aren't they lovely?

SAT.ER.DAY

If it wasn't for the fact that I have been sitting here all day working on Ashley's pictures (with the help of my buddy Stirling) I would be very pissed off by the fact that these carpet cleaning guys are 3 hours late. I still took that opportunity to call them and rip them a new ass HOLE!

I realized today that I love taking pictures but I dislike photohop..ugh, the cloning stamp? For crying out loud, could this take any longer? Now I know why photographer take forever to give you an image back. Unless they have time to sit around and wait for the carpet cleaner, who the hell wants to use the cloning stamp for 3 HOURS? I now get it, and apologize to any and ALL photographers I have harassed for my pictures. I should be ashamed.

Had a ranging headache all day that was cured with a cup of coffee and Stirling asking if I had lost weight (OH, look I'm in a good mood now). This low calorie BS puts me in a raging bitch mode. I want a fucking burger, for the love of Bob!

P.S Carpet guy is here and forgiven. Yes, its because he is cute. I think I once saw a porn that started out like this.

Look What I Can Doooo.....

Look, IN magazine gave my blog a shout-out.

So very very cool!

(Holding hands)

Tonight, was ultra special, because I was with my ultra specials. Justin Grant, Britt Quia (The older sister of my BFF, ASHLEY) and the one and only Will (aka Julio) gathered, for sweet potato fries and a bunch of immaturity. We talk about ourselves. We talk about SEX. And we play with our food.

 God bless us.

Justin Grant: I need your guy's opinion....

Me: Butt plugs. Strap-ons....

Britt: BEADS.

Le Plan

*Picture taken of meh: by Ashley Quai

I'm going to spend my 40's in Paris, when my job as a Mother (which, I think that job never sees a final day) is due, when the young lad turns 18 and he then decides on college, to move out, be on his own and experience the world as an independent young, smart, open minded, handsome Man (Because that is what the last 12 years and the next 6 years have been about accomplishing) Mommy is moving to France, so along with raising this young man, I will add french classes to the next 6 years, so when I arrive in Paris in the year 2016, I will be able to ask for my baguette extra crispy, my cafe creme on the light side and point me to nearest rich french homme. I will be a quadragenarian, with finger crossed that I will look like a 30 something...

To be continued....

Powerhouse

I have very gorgeous friends, it's how I roll. 3 of my closest friends, before this shoot they didn't know each other and I brought my favorite girls together, it worked out very well.
*third picture down- Tatyana, Megan, Myself and Ashley (my favorite shoes I own on the feet of Tatyana, trying to stock up on colors and can't seem to get my hands on another pair, Fack!!)

Horsing around

Tonight I was at dinner with 30+ friends for Ashley and Reeds engagement dinner,Good champagne,Good food and the coolest group in the S.L.C, followed by a speech from Reed that had us all crying, its so wonderful to watch one of my closet friends find love with a genuinely good Man. There is really good guys out there. I believe Men are good when they find the right Woman.


Lisa then taught me the word *SKUNT*... Figure it out!